I wrote this shit in 30 minutes just for shits and giggles – but more importantly, as a loving tribute to The Destroyer himself. Enjoy…
The Ballad Of Johnny Whoreyseed
In the darkened Kansas City streets,
The metalheads all tell a story
That the old-school ‘bangers told to them.
All the way back to the late 90′s,
The story of a mind diseased;
And the cops all know the name for him…
Johnny Whoreyseed!
He was born Miguel The Destroyer,
And his game was without peer.
All the alcoholic virgins thought they had nothing to fear.
But their future won’t be kind;
They all grow up to be strippers sometime.
And the man they all consider most guilty…
Johnny Whoreyseed!
One by one and time after time;
The clothes come off and legs spread wide.
It isn’t hard to see where this path of sluts would lead.
Pure innocence corrupted by one hooligan’s debauchery.
From skipping school for metal shows;
To dollar bills and stripper poles;
Inside darkened temples of lust and greed.
And a lapdance is never free!
From Olathe to Blue Springs,
The metalheads all tell a story
That the old-school ‘bangers told to them.
All the way back from the late 90′s;
From a boy to a man who still fucks teens.
And the ladies know the name for him…
Johnny Whoreyseed!
So if you meet a stripper
And it don’t take too much game
To get inside her size-three g-string
While you throw your hotdog down that hall
And you feel the blood run down your balls
You can thank the hooligan who first made her bleed…
Johnny Whoreyseed!
One by one and time after time;
The clothes come off and legs spread wide.
It isn’t hard to see where this path of sluts would lead.
Pure innocence corrupted by one hooligan’s debauchery.
From skipping school for metal shows;
To dollar bills and stripper poles;
Inside darkened temples of lust and greed.
And a lapdance is never free…
Except for Johnny Whoreyseed!
———-
It’s a fine line between genius and stupidity, and I’m a motherfuckin’ tightrope-walker.
Slainte’.
The Chad
Tags: 90s, alcoholic, bangers, blood, blue springs, debauchery, dollar bill, g-string, genius, greed, guilty, hooligan, hotdog, kansas city, lapdance, lust, metal show, metalhead, mind, olathe, old school, strippers, stupidity, temples, the chad, tightrope, virgins
